When my teenage daughter suffered a skiing accident in the Colorado mountains, she experienced significant head trauma with left occipital and basilar skull fractures, a large epidural hematoma, and multiple brain contusions. As a nurse, I was surprised when the first thing I noticed about the ER nurses wasn’t their competence. I found myself desperately wanting their compassion. Did the nurses care about my precious daughter, a beautiful girl made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26)?
As we received care in different locations, I wanted compassion and caring. Some nurses identified with us, looking “not only to their own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4, NIV). They talked to my daughter even though she appeared unconscious. They offered me support and explained what was happening, what they were doing. On the air ambulance I noticed how gently the nurses handled my daughter and all the attached tubes and lines; how they kept asking if I was okay. I noticed on her admission to pediatric ICU how the admitting nurse looked at her and at me with eyes of compassion. I was deeply moved when on the second night in PICU her nurse said to me, “We’re going to try to get you a bit more sleep tonight.” When I noticed premature ventricular contractions (PVCs), then bigeminy, then occasional PVC couplets on the heart monitor, this same nurse puzzled through the situation with me and took rhythm strips and a stat 12-Lead EKG to a cardiology resident for an informal consult. These were good nurses who anticipated, looked for, and tried to respond to our needs.
In contrast there were nurses who, although competent, did not express compassion and caring. These nurses didn’t tell me their names, avoided eye contact, and neither anticipated nor seemed to want to hear about our needs. Some of the nurses said with their glances, words, or actions, “I have other things to do.”
I’ve thought about times when I gave competent care—passed all my meds, completed
patient assessments, performed good troubleshooting, did everything correctly—but focused on getting “my” work done. Did those patients feel cared for?
God told Moses, “I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out… and I am concerned about their suffering.” (Exodus 3:7, NIV). He then rescued and tenderly cared for his people. A psalmist wrote, “Hear my prayer, O LORD; let my cry for help come to you;” then reported, “The LORD looked down from his sanctuary on high, from heaven he viewed the earth, to hear the groans of the prisoners and release those condemned to death.” (Psalm 102:1, 19-20, NIV). The gospel writers frequently tell of Jesus looking at people and loving them (i.e., Matthew 9:36, 14:14, 15:32; Mark 1:41). Good nurses, like Jesus, for the joy set before them, endure challenges as they serve others (Hebrews 12:2).
When our shifts are busy and our patients difficult, will the cries of our patients’ and families’ reach us? Will we see their misery and be concerned? Will we look from our position and help?
Kathryn Jones, a former ICU nurse, is happy to share her daughter fully recovered from her brain injury.
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