As a student nurse, I was blessed by taking the time to sit and listen to what my patients needed to say. I continue to try to use this most effective nursing intervention in my practice. For me, the experience below shares how compassion unfolds. Such loving kindness is not hard to show, especially when God is in your heart: “As God's chosen people...clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience” (Colossians 3:12, NIV).
My clinical day started in the dialysis center. When I arrived, I noticed a standoffish-looking patient in the corner. He was hooked up to dialysis, covered by a dark blanket. His face was expressionless, and his dark eyes watched me. I offered him a friendly smile and was met with a glare. As I continued my rotation around the clinic, I decided to stay out of his way.
Eventually however, his dialysis machine alarms sounded and I could avoid him no longer. The cold, stony expression remained, and the man narrowed his eyes as I got closer. I breathed in deeply, told myself it was my duty to help him, and went to his side. When I reached his chair, he turned away from me, ignoring me when I said hello. I watched him for a moment and saw something unexpected flitter across his face. Anxiety? Despair? My attitude shifted as I reached for an empty chair: “Mind if I sit with you?” He shrugged, so I sat down.
We sat together a few minutes, and I made an occasional comment about a TV show he was watching. After several minutes, I felt his eyes on me and turned to look at him. This time, he didn’t look away. In a surprisingly deep and gentle voice, he said, “Hello.”
The quiet gentleness of his voice was stunning. After a few minutes of small talk, he turned to face me more directly. The conversation deepened. He told me about his friends who used to come to dialysis, pointing from chair to chair and described who used to sit there. I asked what had happened to them and he replied they had passed. Speechless, I waited for him to break the silence. After a while, he murmured, “If I'm here tomorrow...”
Concern and compassion flooded me as I asked him what he meant. As he looked at me, his eyes became glassy with tears. He said he was afraid he wouldn’t wake up tomorrow and feared what would become of his family.
I handed him some tissues, noticing that the longer he talked, the calmer he became. Voicing his fears gave him control over them. The tears eventually ceased, and his voice became steadier. After several minutes he inhaled deeply, sighed, and smiled appreciatively at me. He said thank you and bit his lip when I reached over to gently squeeze his hand. Based on what he had shared, I offered to pray for him. He nodded, so I said a short prayer for God's help in his difficult situation.
I smiled in disbelief when later, I heard chuckling and looked over to see him cracking jokes with patients near him. Where a stoic and despairing patient had previously sat alone, now a stronger, more confident man reached out to those around him. All he had needed that day was someone to pull up a chair and offer him the gift of compassionate presence.
Jennifer Walker, BSN, RN, was a senior nursing student at Harding University Carr College of Nursing, Searcy, Arkansas, when she wrote this article.
This article originally appeared in the Journal of Christian Nursing.
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