Entering a Vulnerable Space

I still remember my first experience of a dying patient. I was a new RN, working the evening shift on the medical floor in a community hospital. I didn’t know my patient was going to die on my shift. No one mentioned it in the shift report. The departing day nurse suggested getting him out of bed, and that he would have family from out of town visiting that day.

Following report, I made my first round of my assigned patients, then stopped in to help this man. With help, he got up from bed and into a chair. When his family arrived, he seemed pleased to see them and visibly perked up. When I passed his room, I could hear him and his visitors talking.

So it was so surprising that shortly after his family left and I checked in on him, he wasn’t breathing.  I brought in the charge nurse to check on him. It was obvious: My patient had died.

It was sobering—I had not expected this man to die while I was caring for him that evening. Instead, I’d helped him get ready to see his family—as it turned out, for a last time. The charge nurse suggested that he had tried to stay alive until he saw his family for the last time. After that, he was ready to take his last breath.

I reflected on my actions that evening and recognized that I did for him what I would have done for any patient: I listened to report, carried out a brief assessment, and prepared the man to receive his visitors. He seemed to brighten and I had hoped this meant an improvement in his condition.

It dawned on me, as a new nurse, that maybe I had played a part in this man’s dying with dignity. This thought and the value of my role stays with me. As nurses, we enter into a vulnerable space in a person’s life. We may or may not notice how much that matters. That evening on the medical floor, I learned firsthand how sacred nursing is.

Colleen Christenson, BSN, RN, joined NCF staff in 2023 as a nurse staff minister. She’s been involved in NCF for years, including leading a nurse group in Charlotte, NC.

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