As students, faculty, and nurses, we all experience times of doubt. We stop believing our calling by God. We compare ourselves to others who have more experience and wisdom. We listen to the internal critic shouting inside our heads--thoughts we would never speak aloud but believe to be true for ourselves. We place our identity in what others think of us or in the evaluations we receive. We’re left feeling empty and broken.
I found myself in such a place as a student in my master’s nursing education program. I was a novice educator in a new nursing program, putting in long hours preparing lessons and exams, advising students, teaching clinicals and labs, and trying to meet the expectations of my students and the program. It was challenging and I made mistakes along the way.
At some point, I began to focus more on trying to meet the expectations of everyone around me. I lost sight of the many successes that were happening, like students who changed my life for the better and who I also impacted positively. I lost the ability to be grateful. I lost my sense of hope. I felt alone and isolated. All I heard and felt was the negative. As Barbara Fredrickson, UNC–Chapel Hill professor of psychology and neuroscience, shared, “The negative screams at you, but the positive only whispers.”
But I was not alone. God used a professor in my master’s program with whom I felt safe with, able to share my feelings and concerns. She took time to be present with me outside of class and on the phone as I sat in a Target parking lot. She asked good questions – questions that made me more self-aware. She encouraged me with Scripture and prayed with me. She spoke truth over me and believed in what God could do and was doing in my life when I did not believe or trust the possibilities.
In the darkness I felt, she was a spark…a light pointing me toward deeper truth. Her words were the beginning of a journey of healing, transition, and courage, personally and professionally. I continue that journey today as the National Director of Professional Ministries for NCF.
As we think of the ways Jesus works through nurses, this story felt important to share. Yes, Jesus uses us in the lives of patients, families, and our communities. And he also uses us in each other’s lives as we listen, encourage, and pray with each other. You are that spark and hope to others.
Christy Secor, DNP, RN, CDWF, is NCF’s Professional Ministries Director and frequently gives off sparks of hope and light to those she works among.
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